Reflections

Recently as I was going through my old files, I came upon an paper I wrote for an English class in 1970. I can't remember what the assignment was other then to write about how I felt about attending college.

I'm included it in the introduction of my book, Jumping Through Hoops, as it is important to me today as I write an account of my life, as it was when I originality wrote it. The Assignment, as best as I can remember, was to say on one page how I felt about starting college.

At the time, I was 32. I had just left the US Army in Auguast of 1969 after 13 years and was trying to come to terms with life as a free man.

The only thing I can compare my life as a soldier to, during the cold war, was being locked away in prison. The difference between us and criminals were, they had a better life style in prison then many of us had “protecting our country.”. For the most part convicts had only two to a cell with a TV if they could afford it, all we had was cramped living conditions, many times only two feet between bunks and no TV.

As a matter of fact I think the criminals got a better deal when they left prison then separated or returning service men and women did by the public we were fighting for. When they left prison Exconvicts had, if they wanted, support services not available to ex-servicemen and women.

In addition to the poor lifestyle I had lived for 13 years, I had experienced a very poor education and had left school when I was 17 years old, to join the army, as a means to escape the torment from teachers and school bullies. So here I was, a 32 year old man starting college with a poor educational background and scared to death I was going to fail.

The short peace that follows reflects how I felt at the time.
This is the assignment that I did for English Composition 101 class in September 1970.It was the first “A” ever, I got for an English class.

*****

The Cubbyholes Of My Mind

In my mind I find a long, dimly lighted hallway, with cubbyholes of varying size on both sides. By the doorway it is clean and well kept. As I venture in further, it gets dusty. The holes are barred with cobwebs and the lighting is poor.

I enter into the hallway with new information. What do I do with it? Where do I put it? How do I sort it?

First I have to clean out the dust, unbar the holes, change the lighting so I can begin.

Now every thing is cleaned, the cobwebs are gone and bright lights are installed. I'm ready to store the information where I can find it.

CONFUSION:

There is always confusion when I begin. I start sorting everything that is already there and take a thorough inventory:

What Do I do with all the junk I find? Throw it away?

NO!:

There is no junk! Everything I have learned has meaning. All the Information, all the experiences, good and bad, are important. I need them to learn more.

Do I just Keep them separated from the rest?

No, as I learn new things I'll put them in a different place,then go back to my old experiences, combine them, and store them with the new. I will be much wiser for it.
In the beginning I will spend a lot of time thinking and asking myself if it is worth it, do I really want to do this, do I want to go on?

THE ANSWER IS YES!

*****

The only difference today from what it was in 1970 is that the hallway is longer and now it has little rooms off to the sides with much more information storied away in them. Some of the rooms have been closed and locked for many years and the keys have been misplaced.

Recently the key for one of the rooms that has been locked away for the last 30 years Has been dropped into my lap. The opening of that door is the catalyst for the writing my auto biography. As strange as it may seem after all the years that have passed some one contacted me and we started doing what we should have done some 30 years ago, Communicate!